Testimonies Category Image

Stacy's Story

I always thought girls that had abortions slept around, smoked a lot of cigarettes and drank too much. This description was the polar opposite of who I was growing up.

I grew up in a very strong Christian home. I was the middle child, you know the one always wanting peace and I never got into trouble. I was my father’s little angel, and loved the Lord. However I was always a very insecure child and adult.

All I ever wanted was to be a mother. However, after discovering I was pregnant, the man I was involved with showed his true colors. He was controlling, demeaning, and emotionally abusive. The relationship worsened until at 1:30 in the morning following a terrible fight I left him. I turned to my parents for support, but they encouraged me to return to him. They did not believe there was emotional abuse. I wanted my baby more than anything. But, I felt trapped and did not want to bring my baby into this HELL. I felt my whole world was caving in and I was completely alone. One day, crying in a parking lot, holding my stomach, telling my baby how sorry I was. I made the decision to have an abortion. I thought it was my only way out. That day I gave up on God, my baby and myself.

I was numb and empty when it was over. Little did I know how much my life would change and how my abortion would affect the rest of my life. I told everyone I had had a miscarriage. Somehow the baby’s father found out the truth, and called every member of my family to tell them what I had done. My parents were ashamed, and my brother and sister said I was dead to them. The father of my child proceeded to tell me that he would destroy me. He was going to call and email all of my friends and my old boss. He said if it was the last thing he did he would ruin my good reputation. He succeeded… My nieces later told me they thought I had gone insane. I was ashamed. My life and reputation were ruined. I was desperate and alone.

Then God gave me a gift. PATH.

I was looking online for help in dealing with my decision to abort my child. I found the PATH website and called Mary Ann. At this point in my life I was in a small group at my church with 8 amazing women . I met with Mary Ann at PATH. I was reading the Bible again and for the first time in my life I felt the presence of Jesus Christ. I went through the PATH Bible Study—called Forgiven and Set free. I was so hungry for answers that I completed a workbook that usually takes 12 weeks in one week. I was meeting with a counselor twice a week and I had a Hope mentor at my church I met with weekly. I was bound and determined to figure out how I could go from being someone that had her life all together and always did the right things to someone that made repeatedly bad choices. Before my abortion, I had always exuded happiness and life. After my abortion something in me died and I lost that will for life.

During this time the women of PATH became my mother, and PATH became my family. Path became my comfort and refuge. I had not been touched or even hugged in so long. I longed to be held and told it was going to be okay. The women of Path did that for me. I was clinging to them and the Lord.

I finally found people that would love me in spite of what I had done. Not that they condoned what I did, but that they loved me in spite of it. They reassured me that God never left me. I was that lost lamb on the side of the cliff that Jesus left his herd to hand pick, and He carried me around his neck.

The retreat was life changing for me and I will never forget it. It was a taste of heaven. I left with a sense of peace that is indescribable. I felt especially close to the Lord and my child, whose name is Noah.

Today, my relationship with my parents and brother have come a long way. My sister still does not speak to me, but with prayer I’m hoping one day she will. The Lord has brought amazing people into my life. They are my chosen family. I love each and every one of them.

Path is where I found healing and that the Lord truly loves me. Although it was not His will for my life, He can use my abortion experience for His good…to minister to others.

I know that this scripture is true:
Romans 8:28
“We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”